There I said it!

Ok so today has been a rough day. One of those long days while Dave is gone to work and well still will not be home for another hour or so at 9pm. The kids having been cooped up again of course are antsy. Not much I can do since it is a deep freeze outside and the playschool was closed down. The boys do nothing but scream and cry while they are up and at about 4:30 I just sat down with them and cried too. I have no idea what is up with them lately, but if I’m in the room they cry. If I’m out of the room they cry and if they see me walk by well they scream and then cry. I think teething has started up again, who knows. It has just been a long day and a long week with all the screaming. Of course if Dave is in the room they don’t scream at him. I can’t hide forever, even though I’d like to. I have chores to do and well I need to make sure they aren’t going to hurt themselves. They also figured out how to move the gates away from the couch and carry on with climbing it. So I moved the couch about 2 feet from the window now. It all boils down to a big bucket of ice cream at the end of the day.

So a couple of things picking my bum these days. One this lady who they wrote an article on about having her twins 5 years apart. Here is the article if you haven’t heard this whooha.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/04/reuben-and-floren-blake-twins-born-five-years-apart_n_1184084.html

Bottom line, you did not carry those babies at the same time in your uterus! They are not twins. They are not even from embryos that split causing them to be identical, they are a boy and a girl! Twins is not something you just claim like that, it is a rite of passage. I’m not the only MOM out there that feels that way. My body took a beating for my boys, I did everything in my power to grow 2 healthy boys and gave birth to them in a 5 minute span, not 5 years. I got up in the middle of the night while they were young to nurse 2 babies at the same time. I have 2 babies born on the same day that will experience everything they choose to together. Just cause you put them in a freezer, doesn’t mean it counts. I’m cool with IVF, I just don’t think it is fair to call yourself a mother of multiples when you don’t even have the experience of carrying them, raising them and everything else at the exact same time. They are siblings. There I said it!

So the other thing that bothers me a little is those who say after I tell them yes they are twins, oh I always wanted twins. No you don’t. When I was pregnant with them, before I found out about them I was in huge denial. I didn’t want twins. Now before I get too far, don’t get me wrong I love my boys and I’d do it all over again. But twins is not all matching outfits and rhyming names. Twins is work and a lot of work. Heavens I can’t even imagine Triplets, but I bet my friend Paula would say the same, she’d do it all over too, but it wasn’t her first choice. Here is a bit of the reality of multiples, the parts you don’t see or think of.

  • Multiple people are going to come out of you at the same time, after they have of course stretched you beyond all reason and tortured you for the last 5 – 6 months.
  • They all cry at the same time. If one wakes up screaming, he will in turn wake the other than you have more than one baby to soothe and get back to sleep. The older they get the easier it is for them to wake the other too.
  • When they get older, they will try to interfere while you are changing the others diaper, and not the wet ones either. So you will then have to try to quickly change the dirty one and then chase the other one who is now covered in yes you guessed it his brothers poop.
  • 2 blow out diapers at the same time – need I say more!
  • 2 babies screaming and fighting over the same toy all day long.
  • 2 babies screaming for no reason, or one has a reason and the other just wants to play anything you can do I can do better.
  • 2 people throwing up on you at the same time after a feeding. You think spit up down your shirt from one baby is gross, wait until that happens then the other one on your lap waiting its turn to burp spits up on your crotch. Oh and you are home alone those days so you have to wait to shower at a safe time.
  • Everyone and their dog thinks it is their business to talk to you and ask you your whole history about your babies and sex life.
  • 2 babies taking turns waking up alternate nights, keeping you from having a sex life.
  • 2 babies throwing their food at you and on the floor during dinner.
  • 2 babies jealous of each other fighting over you and screaming louder when you try to play with them to calm them down and stop the original screaming and crying.
  • 2 babies teething at the same time.
  • 2 babies having to get immunizations at the same time.
The list can go on. But it is like in The Back Up Plan, it’s awful, it’s awful, it’s awful, it’s awful, then something small and wonderful happens that makes it all worth it. Nothing beats twinnie hugs, both babies nuzzling your neck and squeezing you. Hearing Mamma from 2 little people at the same time. Those first twin giggles at each other. Listening to them chatter to each other in their own twinspeak, and getting to see not one set of first steps but 2 and it is just as thrilling as the first one. My boys completed my family and I would fight tooth and nail for any of my babies. But I also fight daily to keep this ship on course, and some days we hit the iceberg and some days we have smooth sailing. 
Many blessings to my friends with Mulitples out there. May there be strength and patience when you need it and a bottle wine in the fridge.
Heather

 

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About heathereyestone

I'm a stay at home mom of 4 kids, the youngest being twins. I try to live my life as green as I can, and love the outdoors.
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