Hangin low

A cautionary word to those of my readers and friends who may find this under the TMI category. While I do not get raunchy or nasty, some of you may not find the hilarity in the tale I’m about to weave. I do promise this to be filled with laughs though if you care to get to know me a little more personally. Any mother who has nursed and nursed twins at that I’m sure will share some similar feelings as I’m having.

So I begin the latest in my journey of being a MoM. As many of you know, I did my best and hardest to breast feed my lovely little boys as long as I could. It worked well until about 7 and a half months when the biting became much and it was more of a play time for them. So gradually over the last 3 months my body has been changing back its shape. A shape I’m not sure how to define. I went from an average perky kind of gal to now what somewhat resembles two ferrets wrestling around in there. After nursing my girls I’ll admit things weren’t the same either but I don’t remember having to tuck anything into my belt. Ok well it’s not that bad but I’m far from passing a pencil test here. The twins changed everything… In order to meet the demands of those too hungry boys my body sure stepped up and so did my bra size. Which was all fine and dandy when I was nursing but since things here have stopped and I’m feeling some what deflated. My sister and I had a good laugh on her trip here at my ability to wave from inside my shirt. I gave her the best wedding advice I could and that was to make sure to wear all her sexy lingerie now before she had kids and found herself in a similar situation. While I’m sure my husband could care less about the fact that I no longer find myself sitting in the appointed triangular area designated in my evening wear, it still takes away some of the appeal from me to wear if my chest plays peek a boo with him. Thankfully my sister was kind to treat me to some of Victoria’s secret while she was here. While I’m not plump and firm I can still manage to work some origami magic into my 34C bras now.

I didn’t notice how bad things had really gotten until I recently tried on my bridesmaid dress for my friends wedding that is in one month from today. The gentleman assured me that a size 6 would fit nicely once I was done nursing and when I picked it up in April when I was just about done it did fit good, looking to fit perfectly once I was done nursing. Well I tried that dress on a week ago and I was rather shocked to find my chest missing and a bunch of dress to fill. And here I was feeling all positive about my new bras and I now I’m staring into a canyon in the top half of my dress. Murphy’s law, the waist was still snug. So now as I am also approaching my 30th birthday I’m back to feeling like a 13 year old and trying to find creative ways to stuff my bra so I can wear this dress and look all pretty for my friend. I went back to visit this Victoria today, and never did I think I would ask a sales girl if they sold the breasts as well to go in the bras. Something I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do. Sure I could find the good year tire version of the bra that comes with its own air pump, but aside from using it as a PFD when I go boating the next time I didn’t see much use in a bra like that. So unless I can creatively come up with something I may have to take the advice I got in a movie (Now and Then) and fill up some balloons with pudding for a realistic look. At least it will make for a nice snack when I’m done.

The sad thing is I used to think it was funny to sing Do your Boobs hang low, when I was a young girl, that sure came back to bite me in the bum.

I also now know why they call them Wonderbras and all about Victoria’s Secret. Because unless you can share sympathies no one would ever know what is going on in your over the shoulder boulder holder.

From a gal who could once call herself Busty Sinclair, Chesty Lerue or Hootie McBoob.